Over the last few months I have come to realize how important friends actually are to our wellbeing. I feel as though we take the people in our lives for grated and before we know it they are gone, and we are alone.This is where I am.
I have recently come to realize that I no longer have anyone I can confide in. This happened for a multitude of reasons, such as; me pushing the away to protect myself, having different priorities, or simply, not putting in the effort to remain friends.
Before I go any further I want to explain that I am not complain nor am I blaming anyone, I am just trying to express how I feel.
I am alone. I have no one to hold me up when I start to lean and fall because I am exhausted and just can't stand any longer.
I have never felt this away before, sure I have felt lonely, but I have never felt like I was truly alone.
As many of you know, I tend to have strong stoic facade. I don't show emotion, and I certainly don't cry. That being said, I have cried more times in the last month than I think I have since I was a baby. Thats how alone I feel.
I have tried to reach out to some of my friends, but that timing isn't right or they simply don't make time, which make me feel even more alone. Due to this, I have gotten stuck in a weird state of depression. I am fine when I am at work, but as son as I clock out, all I want to do is go home and crawl into bed and sleep, and that is precisely what I do. I don't go to any church activities, I don't hang out with people, I sleep.
It's been rough, and I haven't explained most of this to anyone because I dont want them to feel bad, nor do I want them asking how I am doing every 5 minutes.
When all of this first started to happen I found it ironic and comical. Simply becasue back in high school and in college, I never would have guessed that I would be completely alone and having no one to confide in. I was the girl everyone assumed would have gotten married before she got out of her teens and now I am almost 25 and alone, that's irony at it's finest.But as it got worse and my 2 closest friends and I stopped talking completely, it all sank in.
I realized, that I need to learn to stand alone. It's sad, but I know I am in this "season" of life for a reason. This all has a purpose, whatever that purpose may be. I may not know what the reasoning behind it is, but I have to trust that Heavenly Father is in control and will pull me out of this, and that I will be a stronger and more diligent person when it is all said and done.
I was having an extremely hard time with excepting that I could turn to Christ and he would help me to stand, and that I wasn't standing alone, and it's still hard, but I heard a song that helped and I will link it at the end of the post, as usual.
I want you guys to know that I know that Christ is there for all of us, it may not make it any easier to get through our trials, but it will make it so that we don't get burned and smothered by them. I know HE loves us, and understand where we are and how to help us, all we need to do is turn to Him in prayer and left Him hold us. Just because you can't see Heavenly Fathers plan, doesn't mean theres no plan, there is always a hand holding you even when you things aren't in control.
Please, if you are going though a hard time and need someone to talk to, go to Christ first, then come talk to me. My door is always open and I love you guys.
I am sorry if this post is all over the place, but honestly it is just raw emotion.
As always if you ever need to contact me please feel free to via email teasha.adams@gmail.com or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/teasha.adams91 and of course you can leave a comment down below.
Remember that when life gets hard, keep moving forward and...
