As I said in my last post I have been very busy lately and have been dealing with a lot in my personal life. So here is whats going on, about two weeks ago I was hospitalized for an iron deficiency anemia. Which in non-medical terms means i don't have enough iron in my body to make the red blood cells I need. As a result of this, I cannot do things I would normally do. I have a hard time even walking because I feel so dizzy and light headed, almost to the point of passing out.
Once it had become too big of a problem, to where it was hard for me to do anything, I decided to go to Urgent Care to see if they should help me. Once I got there are saw a doctor and he told me to leave and go to the ER immediately. So, that's what I did. I got in my car and drive to the nearest E.R. and waited for about 20mins then they ran blood tests and whatnot and told me I was going to be admitted because I was going to need a blood transfusion and IV Iron.
After I was admitted and got the blood and iron I still didn't feel good, and still don't. Before I was released from the hospital the doctors gave me doctors to follow up with to try to keep all of this under control, which was good, but i had two weeks until the appointments. Which is now, this week.
I went to one of the two doctors yesterday to see if we could find a cause of the problem. I'm gonna be honest, I don't know how I feel about him. The first thing he wants to try is just putting me on medication to fix the problem, but I'm not even sure what the problem is, or what is causing the problem. I did however agree to his course of action and we will see what happens.
Now here is the fun part, insurance. These companies are supposed to be there to help make your life easier and medical bills more affordable right? Yeah, no! WRONG! They have made my life a literal living hell. At the current moment I need medication that they won't pay for for at least another month, I can't wait that long for it, and the out of pocket cost is too much for me to afford right now since I have other medical bills I am trying to pay. So, yay this is fun!
I have been having a hard time with being my upbeat happy self lately because I am so exhausted with dealing with all of this that I can't deal with anything else. I am not sleeping that well at night as a result of the stress and therefore I am exhausted all the time and just not as happy as I should be.
Recently, since I have been having such a rough patch, I have been listening to a lot of Christian music and just trying to turn to the Lord with this because it's at the point where its in his hands and I have done all I can do. Let me tell ya, that is much easier said then done! I am a strong independent person, I take pride in this fact but in the past few weeks I have had to rely on others, and it has humbled me greatly and I have seen a side of me that I didn't know was there.
The title of this post is actually two names of songs that have helped me a lot in the past few weeks, the first being Blessing and the second While I'm waiting. (I will post YouTube videos at the bottom.) There songs have been able to let me see my trials in a different light and it is making all the difference.
Blessings basically says that Heavenly Father will give us blessing in different ways that we might not have even realized. It basically says that our trials, are Heavenly Fathers mercies. He gives us the trials that we have in our lives to make us stronger, so if it be through rain drops, tears, sleepless nights, or whatever may come our way, he wants us to turn to him for help and he is testing us to see if we will. We need to remember that, He loves us and will never give us more than we can handle.
While I am Waiting basically says that while I am waiting I will walk in obedience and that I will do all i can to grow closer to the Lord, and through those actions the Lord will be with you and you will know that He loves you and that you are on the right path.
Both of these song are about putting our trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to give us strength to move boldly and confidently through our trials and to know that we are never alone, and to know that we are loved.
I know with first had experience that having this faith in Them is not easy, its actually extremely difficult and challenging, but I think that is done on purpose. Heavenly Father knows that it is easy for us to say we love him when our lives are easy, but he wants to know that we are truly dedicating to him in the hard times too, because thats when true character comes to life. Our trails make us who we are.
My challenge to you is there next time you are having a rough day or don't think the Lord is there, turn to him. Get on your knees and pray, I know you won't want to, but do it anyways.
There is one last thing I want to share, there is a youth speaker in the church and his name is John Bytheway, he has a talk entitled "Rough Start; Great Finish" and he shares this poem in it and I think it sums up how our trials makes us stronger if we are patient and allow the Lord to refine us through them.
Rough Start Great Finish:
Some people like to wonder, why is my life so though?
Mortality is full of trials and every day is rough.
They say “Hey! Lord, I’m being good. Why punish me with trials?
I thought if I chose the right I’d
have a life of smiles.”
So here are some things within a poem we mustn’t disregard
which hopefully will answer why
our lives can be so hard.
Nephi crossed a dessert to find a place to build a ship
I think we’d all agree this was
not a pleasure trip.
A wilderness dark and dreary lay before the tree of life
you must fetch Ishmaels family before you find your wife.
A wilderness will always come before the Promised Land.
And before they sowed in dark rich soil, they saw a lot of sand.
The kind of things that they went through we go through now today.
Here’s 25 examples of how things can be that way:
You’ve got to eat your Cracker Jack’s before you get your prize;
you have to sit through drive through before you get your fries.
I drove a Chevy Vega before my Honda Prelude;
I had to take my finals man before I got my grade dude.
Before 80’s music came we had to go through disco;
before the Teflon frying pan we used to cook with Crisco.
You do a lot of dating son before you find your honey;
bank offices will check your past before they loan you money.
Endure the small apartment kids before you buy a home;
my franklin planner weighed a ton before I bought a palm.
You have to pass the food court before you reach the mall;
and I was really short before I got this tall.
It takes a lot of courage to ask the girls to dance;
without the risk of asking you’ll never find romance.
The ugly duckling came before the really pretty swan;
you’ve got to pull the dandelions to have a gorgeous lawn.
It could take 300 Wonka bars to find a golden ticket;
to eat that pile of chocolate boy you’ve really gotta dig it.
We shovel snow in winter time
before we get to spring;
some guys will sacrifice their jeep to buy a wedding ring.
It’s half a dozen previews and then the presentation;
and only after 8th grade trials comes high school
graduation.
Airport security must be passed before you find your gate;
it’s odd that much of traveling is standing in line to wait.
You’ve got to go in rush hour then you park in your garage;
you have to do stuff for your wife to earn a back massage.
Hours of piano lessons came before the big recital;
the Cougars played the U of U before they won the title.
Perhaps I should get to the point before this poem gets longer;
I guess that what I’m trying to say is that trials make you stronger.
So when you have a problem there’s no reason to complain
it might just be that all that’s wrong is for your eternal gain.
The next time a trial comes along don’t gripe or wrote a letter;
just see what’s really going on is your problems make you better.
I hope my amateurish poem my point will not diminish;
sometimes a rough start comes before a really awesome finish!
As always if you ever need to contact me please feel free to via email teasha.adams@gmail.com or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/teasha.adams91 and of course you can leave a comment down below.
Remember that when life gets hard to keep moving forward and to…
Always Smile!
