Choosing to be single....

Howdy!

So lately there has been a big buzz around me and some of the choices I am making in life, and I want to address some of them.

I hear it all the time and I am sure most people who are adults and single do too;

How are you still single? You are so amazing!
You just haven't found the right person!
Have you tried online dating?
I know the perfect guy for you...
You're too picky, maybe you should lower your standards....

And the list goes on.....and on...and on!

I AM SICK OF IT!!!

Yes, I am single. Yes, I am pretty dang amazing (not to toot my own horn ;)) and I am happy with it!

As I have stated before, many times in other posts, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As such there is a certain stigma about being a young single adult. It is frowned upon to be single in the society of the church. For example their is a famous quote that people use when enclosing on the age of 25...

"Any unmarried man over age 25 is a menace to society."

Yes, thats right, menace! Do you know the correct definition of the word menace? No? Well here it is according to Webster's Dictionary; one who causes harm or danger, one who is a threat, one who causes trouble.

So if you put the quote with the definition, any person over age 25 is a threat, causes harm, danger and trouble...WHAT?!?  

How does that make any sense? Good question... right?!? Well, the answer is simple... It doesnt.

So at this point I am sure you are all wondering how and why this applies to me? Am I right..? Yeah?!?

You're sitting there at your computer thinking "Teasha... you're only 23, how does this make sense for you to post about...?"

Well my friends, here is why!

In our church we have congregations particularly geared to young persons between the ages of 18 and 31. The purpose is so that you are with people you can relate to more easily, and to get kids (by kids i mean 18 to 31) married! Which is a great idea! To a point... 

We are encouraged and some might even say forced to be in this congregation... And it is seen as weird and odd if you are not in this congregation if you fit the parameters for it. 

I am one of these odd and weird people. I decided 6 months ago to leave the singles ward, or singles congregation and attend a traditional ward, or a family congregation.  I have also stopped associating with most of the people in that demographic. 

As you can imagine, rumors and questions came up from every where. People thought I was giving up on being Mormon, others thought I was giving up on dating, and there are many other crazy assumptions made. 

I heard it all, and when I explained the real reasons why people were shocked.  

I am not afraid to speak how I feel about something, I was blunt and honest. 

The main purpose behind a singles ward, is to get people married. My personal opinion is that if you are not at a point where you are comfortable with getting married, why would you put yourself in a position to be married and for people to push you into it..?

I am choosing to be single right now. I know that I need to work on myself and be happy with who I am and what I want in life before I can add someone else and their well-being in the mix. 

If I wanted to, I could have been married and settled down by now... But would it be a lasting relationship? I doubt it. I don't want to rush into something because everyone thinks its what I should be doing.  

 I honor and respect marriage too much to just go out and marry whomever, I want it to be right, I want to be sure, I want it to be forever.

So when people ask me if I am happy being single and if I wish I was in a relationship, I say "Come what may and love it!" I am not against a relationship happening, I just am not going out of my way to find one. 

So, if I turn 25 and I am still single I will embrace the fact that I am a menace and be happy with it! Because life is waaaay too short to be depressed about and plus, none of us get out of it alive!

I am sorry if this seems like I was rambling... But I think I expressed how I feel about this. 

As always if you ever need to contact me please feel free to via email teasha.adams@gmail.com or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/teasha.adams91 and of course you can leave a comment down below.

Remember that when life gets hard, keep moving forward and...

Always Smile!