12 years ago...

Howdy!

I meant to do this post a few days ago but life has been busy and I forgot to do it...

January 25... It would seem like any other day of the year to most people... But to me, this day holds a special meaning. 

On January 25, 2003 I made the biggest decision of my existence, even though at the time I had no idea how much it would impact my life.

12 years ago I made the decision to be baptized and become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or otherwise known as Mormon. 

It was the best decision I could have made for myself. I was only 11 when I made the choice and I had no idea what exactly I was doing. 

I have been on a crazy roller coaster as far as the Church goes, it has taken me a long time to get to when I am, and it hasn't always been easy. 

It took me about 10 years to understand what the gospel was and to decide that I actually wanted to be in it for the long haul. But even then, I have had a hard time.

***Disclaimer; this is about to get religious, so if you don't want here read about how I feel about God, stop reading. ***

Being a member of the Church, isn't easy and it isn't supposed to be. We are meant to be tried and tested. We have to remember that God isn't the only one who wants us.

Have you ever wondered why, when it seems like you are doing what’s right, you’re on the right path, and you can feel yourself getting closer to God - that temptations seem to get stronger and more frequent?

I have experienced this numerous times. It makes you feel almost as if the temptations are there because you're really not doing as well as you thought, that you are somehow unclean, unworthy.

ERRRR!!! Wrong answer. Try again.

My Bishop gave this analogy at girl’s camp a many years ago...

You are standing facing the sun, with your shadow behind you. You start walking towards the sun. What happens? Wouldn't you know that your shadow actually starts to grow bigger! The closer you get the longer it stretches out- sometimes almost even becoming bigger than you actually are.

But there is a changing point in this formula if you continue to walk towards the sun. Once you hit this point, your shadow starts to get smaller. Now instead of the shadow growing bigger as you get closer to the sun, it starts to diminish, until you reach a point that you are close enough to the sun that your shadow is gone completely.

 Now talking in terms of the gospel, the sun is Heavenly Father and the shadow is temptation. When we first start taking those steps towards Him a little emergency flash goes off in Satan's workshop. It says "WARNING! WARNING! Teasha has taken three steps closer to the Sun! Act accordingly. Pronto!" 

So little old Satan comes a creeping up behind us throwing all sorts of tricks and deceptions at us. If we give in, stop taking steps towards the Sun or even take a step or two back, Satan isn't so worried anymore and he leaves us alone for a while. But again, as we start to take steps closer to the Sun, Satan comes back. As we continue to take steps forward despite Satan's attempts to stop us, he starts to really get worried and he starts throwing harder temptations at us at a faster rate. The closer we get the more desperate he becomes. He'll stop at nothing to get us to halt our progression! 

But, in the end, light is stronger than darkness, isn't it. If we continue to press forward, Satan's power diminishes until finally it can no longer touch us nor be seen. That isn't to say that trials will disappear. Trials are a part of Heavenly Father's tool kit. He uses them to mold us, make us stronger, humble us, teach us, to give us experience. So while temptations may become smaller and not as much as a struggle, it doesn't mean our lives are free of pain and heartache and struggle.

As myself speaking, I feel temptation is Satan's tool and trials are Heavenly Father's. Heavenly Father does not tempt us. He gives us daily struggles to overcome and to become closer to him. Satan uses trickery and deception. The definition of temptation is "to induce or entice, as to something immoral". It’s interesting to look at the definition of moral. It means "dealing with, or capable of distinguishing between right and wrong". So to be immoral would mean that you are no longer able to tell right from wrong. Satan tempts us so that when we give in, we are allowing ourselves to start sand-papering away our knowledge of right from wrong. 

Isn't that interesting? Would a loving Heavenly Father tempt us? Would he want us to fog our consciences to where we no longer had a sense of right and wrong? No. Heavenly Father sends us trials, the act of being tried. Tried meaning tested, proved, trustworthy. If we fail a trial, it means we haven't been proven. To fail and give into temptation causes much more than failure. It causes our senses to be dulled and our Liahona to stop working. We start to wonder and to forget why we even came out into the wilderness in the first place. Pretty soon old Satan doesn't have to hang around anymore. We have become so immoral (not being able to tell right from wrong) that he no longer has to tempt us. It’s as if we stopped walking along the path, decided to twirl in a circle ten times real fast, and then try walking forward again. Most of the time we end up falling on our bums! Satan just laughs, delighted with our now queasy stomachs and dizzy/mixed up heads, and he runs off to find someone else. 

If we can be strong and realize that we are not unworthy of our Father's blessings, and realize that temptation in our lives does not mean we are somehow failing. But rather realize that as we take steps closer to Him, Satan is going to do everything in his power to stop us. He is going to throw larger and even more enticing temptations are way to get us to stop our progression. 

Satan is powerful, but God outshines him like the Sun to a wee bitty ant. So small in fact, that even us, ourselves here on earth are much grander than a wee ant. Sure the ant can bite, his little friends can follow and start climbing over your feet and legs. But we have the power to smash that little ant. We have the power to turn on the hose and wash all those little ants away.

I testify that the hose is the power of the Atonement. 

I know all too well how Satan and his followers whisper lies into our minds. They whisper disappointments, proud thoughts, selfish thoughts, and doubts.

We have the power to turn on the hose.

No one else can do it for you.

You alone must turn it on. 

Even after the ants are gone, you may be left with bites that itch and are swollen, but with time it will heal. In time they will disappear.

So also can the Atonement heal you, Christ suffered for YOU.  Don’t let it be in vain.

When I was in my most dark and dismal places, coming to the Church and learning of the gospel is what brought me back to Heavenly Fathers light and love. Earlier I mentioned how being a member of the Church hasn't always been easy, but I can guarantee it has been worth it. The Church has truly changed my life. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.