But, is it really true?
I have been told many times that I am a bold and blunt person. I am constantly told that no one ever worries about how I feel or think about something because I am going to speak my mind about it weather they want to know it or not.
That being said, there have been many times in my life where I have been brutally honest and have had to be bold and blunt about something, and it always back fires on me.
If honesty is the best policy, why is it that this happens? I try my best to do what I feel is right to those around me and it always bites me in the rear.
So I have been going through a rough time lately, as many of you know. And in the last few days, life has become even more daunting.
You see, I was starting a new relationship with a wonderful guy. And I don't want anyone to get upset with him because of what I am about to say, because I understand where he is coming from.
Every time I have started a relationship, and things are going well, I struggle with when to mention what could quite possibly be a HUGE deal breaker. And in the past when I have shared this, the guy has ended the relationship. So I am always hesitant to share this very venerable personal piece of my life.
HOWEVER, this does not mean that I am not open to talk about it, because I am way too bold and blunt. ;)
So, some people may disagree with my timing but before a relationship gets too serious and before feelings can get too involved I drop my "deal breaker".
I tell who ever it is that I simply cant have kids, and maybe if I talk about it on here it won't be a huge shock for people later.
People have asked me why I decide to tell the person so early and the reason is this; In relationships it is not you can hurt the person or not hurt the person. It is however, I can hurt this person a little bit or I can hurt this person a lot. I would rather rip off a band-aid and have it sting for a short time, then to cut open a scare and have it bleed for a prolonged amount of time. But the biggest reason, is because I simply don't want to get hurt anymore than is necessary. So, I get it done and over with as soon as possible, because if I am going to get hurt, I'd rather it be a band-aid.
As you can imagine, telling the guy didn't the way I was hoping. Not to say that he is a terrible person, because he isn't. I will defend him and his choices. I do condemn him for his choice, it is a hard hurdle for anyone to jump over. The first few times they will fall and they also might not be able to clear it. And, that is okay. Who am I to judge for what is important to him? I cannot and I will not.
It has just become incredibly difficult to be able to open up to people anymore. And it is not because I am cold and bitter, it is simply because I don't want to go through anymore pain and sorrow. I am not generally a touchy feely person in the first place so I don't tend to share how I feel about things so when I do it and it back fires it hurts that much more.
I don't know why I decided to write about this, none of you really need to know my problems. But I personally needed it I guess.
Whatever you take away form this please do not think badly about the guy, and don't judge him. He truly is I amazing and is a sweetheart.
As always if you ever need to contact me please feel free to via email teasha.adams@gmail.com or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/teasha.adams91 and of course you can leave a comment down below.
Remember that when life gets hard, keep moving forward and...
Teasha Adams
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