Clarification.

Howdy,

First of all, nothing with this is going as planned. The "first" post that I wanted to publish is now in a queue waiting to go up. However, that is also the point of doing this, I need to learn to let go of my control.

I was to say that all of this is not just about my addiction. It is about my mental health and choosing to live life more fully. I have done a great job at allowing myself to become isolated and I have pushed everyone away in my life. I do not have people I see or hang out with on a regular basis outside of work. I have micromanaged my life so well that all I do is work and stick to a schedule that I keep on google. If it is not on that calendar, I do not do it. It is bad, I need to learn to let go and have fun and not pick up extra shifts at work. The more I work the more I am able to numb my feelings. when I numb my feelings, I numb them all, the good and the bad.

I can't and won't live like that anymore. I want to be more present in life and find joy.

Next, I want to clarify my addiction. Yes, I have a pornography and sexual addiction. does this mean I am out having sex with a ton of people? NO.

What this means for ME, is that I have a problem with online content as well as sexual desires and not being able to bridle them and keep them under control. I was becoming dependent on these things and I needed to end the cycle. Those thoughts and ideas and pornography were starting to control my life, instead of my being able to control it.

I started going to therapy about 3 weeks ago and started going through the addiction recovery program and it is amazing how much better I feel already.

Again, this is just me and my life. This does not mean it will be the same for anyone else. If you have questions, please reach out to me. I am slow at responding right now just because of the quantity of messages I am getting.

I love you all and look forward to hearing from you!

Remember that when life gets hard, keep moving forward and...

Always Smile!