Day One.

Howdy,

I keep thinking that I know how all of this is going to work and that I can create a plan for how and when to post, what topics I want to cover and the sequential order...

But, that I not working. I still have my original post waiting to be published and I keep thinking of things to post before that one. I guess the time will come and it will be able to be published.

With everything that has happened in the last few days, there are a few things that keep getting repeated no matter who it is that I am talking to, and I am going to attempt to mass answer these ideas,

 I want everyone to know that I am still in the thick of everything. I am still in a state of depression and I have only been sober for about 20 days now. I have just started the journey to wholeness.

The other day I was able to help a friend out by taking him to the airport, this was about a 2hr drive so it gave a good amount of time to talk and ponder about life.

At one point he looked at me and asked if I thought I was at a point where I felt I was "free." That I would never have another setback, that I would be able to even out my depression and that everything would be okay...

My answer: I don't think I will ever be in a place that I feel that way. I don't think that is how life works, especially not mine.

 Then we listened to this song:

My take away from this song: Every day is my day one. 

I have this terrible problem with getting stuck. I get stuck thinking about how bad my past has been and how I wish I could change it. I get stuck thinking that if I were to have just done or said one thing different my whole life could be so much better. I also get stuck planning for the future. I have to know how everything is going to go and I plan it out so there are no surprises.

In the past, I couldn't just live in the moment. I was either thinking behind or ahead and never for the now. I am done with that. 

Day one of the rest of my life is today and every day. Every day I am one choice away from the life I want to have. I just need to choose to make those changes in my life. The only person that can choose it is me. 

I am choosing to be present I am choosing to show up and be there. 

I don't want to check out of conversations anymore. I don't want to get bored when I am with friends and get on my phone. I don't want to text someone to see how they are or to tell them a happy birthday. I want to show up. 

I don't want to keep going through life continually worried only about work, school, and other people. I need to be more present for myself.

I need to learn that the here and now is fleeting and you never get these moments back. I need to learn how to savor my experiences and let myself feel all the emotions that I need to feel in those moments. 

It's a simple choice to make... It might not be easy, but it is simple.

Remember that when life gets hard, keep moving forward and...

Always Smile!

If you feel like any of what I am saying could help the people in your life please share it with them! That is why I am doing this, to help!

I have set up an email list if you would like to join it click here.